February 6th, 2019
After the last three guys I wasn’t feeling very hopeful as I went on Date #4. Just like the other guys, he looked cute in his Bumble profile, he seemed funny and normal. We had been texting back and forth and I could tell that this guy was going to be funny right off the bat. I had been pretty forward and said on Bumble, “Hey I know this is forward, but if you would want to get a drink sometime here is my number!” and he immediately sent a gif of T-Pain with the caption “Imma buy you a drank”. Very cute and clever, I appreciated it.
I was actually pretty excited to meet this guy. I am a sucker for a funny guy. If someone can make me laugh then I will immediately click with them. I am goofy and appreciate someone who can let go and be goofy too.
So we meet at a bar I chose that was right by my office which meant very minimal walking for me. This bar is the perfect date spot with dark lighting, a fairly extensive bar menu, and candles on the table (aka romantic AF).
We immediately clicked. This was the first guy I was actually hitting it off with on all levels. We were laughing, cracking jokes, and gossiping about the table next to us taking drink pics for Instagram. I was genuinely having a really good time.
I snuck away to the bathroom to text my friends about how awesome my date was going. “He is so funny and cute and we are having a good time!!! Low-key wanna kiss him right here in the bar! Can I do that??” I send to the poor souls who I force to listen about these dates.
“No, definitely don’t kiss him in the middle of the bar…” was majority of the answers I got back. I guess fair enough. We aren’t in college anymore and you can’t just lay one on a stranger who is mostly sober without it being weird. So fine they had a good point.
The first date ends and for the first time in a long time I was giddy! I was so excited about how well it went and how much we had hit it off. I was looking forward to a second date!
We went on a second, third, fourth, and fifth date. All of them went really well, he was super nice and made me laugh, but something was off. It felt like we hadn’t made any progress from the second date. It is like I didn’t know that much about him, other than very surface level things. I would describe it as though he plateaued after date number two.
I think back on the dates I went on with him and I did always have a good time. I wanted to like him more, on paper I didn’t have any reasons not to like him! But it just wasn’t there. After 5 dates you would think I would have known more about this guy but nada. Why did our dates feel like we were never moving forward? In a sense I guess it is because we weren’t moving forward. Laughing and goofing off only get you so far, it doesn’t let you know someone’s past or their deep, dark secrets. Not saying that on the 5th date I want someone telling me about their childhood traumas, but I would like to know about their values and family dynamic to see if align with mine. I don’t think that is too much to ask.
Boy #4, great guy, funny guy, has career goals, all around a catch. Sadly, we were not a match made in heaven or anywhere for that matter. No doubt that this guy will find a girl who pairs up with him nicely, but I was not that girl and I think we both knew that.
Anyway, at least for the first time in a long while I was able to feel giddy about someone. Leading up to the date I thought that my heart had shrunk down 4 sizes and turned to stone at my weathered age of 23 but I actually almost liked someone. I didn’t realize how hard it is for me to like someone. You should see my checklist of pros and cons in a man and just how long it is. I’m not overly picky but this 2019 project of mine has made me realize what all I don’t want in a future partner. So sadly, the con list is much longer than the pro list at the moment but surely it is subject to change.
Lucky date number 4. If I find a guy I like every 4 dates then by the time this is all over I will have a total of 4.75 guys that make me remember that my heart isn’t made completely of stone.