Date #8: The Had an Okay Time Guy

May 23rd, 2019

I had taken a couple months off to date Boy #6. He has been the only boy to know about the 19 date and the only reason he found out was thanks to my boy co-workers big mouths. He had asked a lot about if I was still going on the dates, so I decided that since I liked him I might as well take a leave of absence from the project. So I did for about two months while I exclusively dated Boy #6. As we know from Boy #6’s post it didn’t work out. So I hopped back on the horse and scheduled date #8.

Boy #8 came around the same week I had ended things with Boy #6. I thought the best way to go about things was to jump right back into the fire. We met for drinks at a new Mexican restaurant right by my office (if you can’t see the trend, I pick the bars that require the least amount of walking for me). We hit it off! Finally a dating app guy that seemed completely normal. We talked about our jobs and how he worked in sales at a local news station. I found his job very intriguing since somewhere deep down inside of me I wanted to be a news anchor, but instead I’m a boring banker…

Usually I would never bring up politics on a first date but I had seen on his profile that he was liberal and that is a small box on my pro list. So we talked about politics and how the world today is trash blah blah blah. We also talked about how we both enjoyed stand-up comedians and exchanged different comedians for the other to try out. It seemed to be going pretty well.

Other than that I don’t remember a whole lot more from the date but I do remember him showing me a picture he had taken with Hannibal Buress, the comedian who plays Lincoln in Broad City. Pretty cool!

So we said our goodbyes after two drinks and a lofty 2 hours. I had a pretty good time with this guy. He was nice, seemed completely normal and didn’t say anything weird on the first date (didn’t know this was so hard to come by). What a win. So after eight dates I had met two normal guys on the dating apps, odds really were not in my favor with the other five. I decided that I would go out with him again if he asked.

He did not ask.

This being the first time (over the 19 dates, not my life) that I had thought the date went well, but he was not on the same page with me. I don’t think he had a bad time at any means, but he didn’t vibe as much as I thought we did. I wasn’t overly disappointed because it wasn’t like this guy swept me off my feet, but I did enjoy myself on the date. Maybe I didn’t blow him out of the water either and that’s okay. I think we are all looking for this over-exaggerated, love at first sight moment on a first date and I am not sure if that even exists. The movies are the ones putting this intensely, perfect first meeting in our heads, but does it happen in real life? If it does then that is definitely the exception not the rule.

I was also starting to realize that finding a genuine connection is tough for me. I had been on dates with 8 different boys and I was able to find something wrong with all of them. Was I being too picky? Everyone says not to settle but I was struggling with feeling anything other than indifference towards these boys. I had dated Boy #6 for a couple of months but looking back I think the things I liked about him were the fact he had a good job and a dog. My connection to him was not based on his humor, character, or personality, like what I actually wanting to connect with in a partner.

Throughout the previous eight dates I have learned a lot about myself and grown more than I ever would. I had been needing to get to the core of Miss Audrey and I think I was finally breaking through.

8 dates down and 11 more to go.

3 thoughts on “Date #8: The Had an Okay Time Guy

  1. Those genuine connections are not just hard for you; they are hard for the majority of folks. Think about it: If we all had immediate, deeply profound connections and chemistry with everyone we met, then we’d not have preference, not have judgments, not have ideals, which would be odd. Be thankful for not just feeling like one can jump in bed with everyone or fall head-over-heals in love the first outing. We’d be more in trouble if that was the routine than periodic dry spells, occasional (or frequent) ‘misses’ out of a hit-or-miss online/app dating lifestyle. You’re writing reveals that you’re doing okay with this all. It’s good to be skeptical or to at least have your check boxes of pros and cons. That’s human nature. Just practice insightful judgment, patience, and tolerance for more of the little things that are idiosyncratically cool about people (you may miss out on some really important qualities if jumping to conclusions about teeth picking, for example). ; )

    Like

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